from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
