I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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