As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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