cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
