I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
