I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
