Me too!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
