he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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