the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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