I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
