He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
