Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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