hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
