I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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