life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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