I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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