i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
