I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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