I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
