I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
