he wants to bone in the snuggie
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
