Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
