My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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