trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
