i would punch a child for taco bell
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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