OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
