Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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