yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
