My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
