Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
