I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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