After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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