I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
