The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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