i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
