Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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