What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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