he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I can't put those talents on a resume
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
