She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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