Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
