Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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