Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
