I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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