I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
