I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
