Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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