So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
