He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
