I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
