ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
