Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
