There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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