she takes plan B like it's going out of style
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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